So Warm, So Cold
by aindah
Summary: A oneshot which was devised to prove I do not write only yaoi.


The consuming thirst for blood deepened. His body felt like a time-bomb, seconds away from exploding. The thought of sinking his teeth into white, supple flesh of her neck, piercing her skin which smelled of violets, used to make him nauseous. Now the nauseating sensation abated, and that, once barely noticeable, feeling of sheer ecstasy increased. The day will come, he knew, when this depravity will overwhelm him, defeat him, and turn him into a monster, a monster far worse than her beloved Kaname.

_I haven't left my room in...How many days has it been? A week? More than a week? I heard footsteps stopping at my door. I smelled _her._ She didn't call out, she just stood there, silently, driving me mad. If she knew what she can do to me by only standing behind locked door, would she ever want to see me again? If she knew my thoughts, wouldn't she run away?_

He loves her. He has loved her since they were children, since she diligently, with a smiling face, washed the wounds that were now turning him into a predator. The first time he had ever felt anything that could be described as desire was thanks to her. But he realized that there is a great difference between wanting and needing, as synonymous as they might sound. Your mind wants, your entire body needs, and when your body needs something, when it craves, when it hungers, that which you want fades away and stays forgotten in the deep recesses of your brain.

_Yuki...Yuki...come to me...come...come...Yuki..._

At times, Zero could still discern what he wanted from what he needed, but the margin was slowly disappearing, even more because the object was the same in both cases. The only difference was in the bodily fluids he wanted and the ones he needed to exchange with that object.

_The gun...I could use it. But is my willpower so weak? Am I so weak? I'm still human, I'll never cease to be human, never. I can overcome this. I just have to feel sated. I just have to feel something other than thirst...Footsteps...Oh God...Jesus, if you're there, make the smell go away? Make it go away, please. I'll do anything. I'll pull the trigger, I'll end it, just MAKE IT GO AWAY!_

"Zero..." it was the first time Yuki spoke from behind the door.

"Let me in, please."

_I mustn't. I shouldn't. I won't. But I want to...or...I need to? Go away Yuki. Go. You've seen the monster I've become. Run in fear._

"Zero, please...please."

_Please? Please what? Please open the door so you can see, not only smell, that which you cannot have. Please what? What? What? Why would I?_

"I'm not going away."

A thought, like a ray of sun through the clouds, illuminated him.

_If I _decide_ to take her. If I take her because I deliberated on it, because I've reached a decision to do it, then I will win. I will overcome. I will decide. Me. My brain. My willpower. Not my nature, not my instincts. Me. I will do what I want, and what I need will disappear. Yes. A human being, not a beast._

Zero turned the key and, somewhat reluctantly, he opened the door. He turned his back without looking, the thought of seeing her and losing control still plagued him. He could hear the door slam shut. Yuki was inside. The smell was stronger, intoxicating. Zero closed his eyes, and took a deep, long breath, inhaling her scent. He turned to her as he exhaled.

The decision was made. Or at least, he thought it was a decision he made. Yuki watched him silently as he glided across the dark room. Before she could realize it, Zero was pinning her against the door, his right hand at her hip, his left locking the door and throwing the key into the darkness of the room. His face rested on her shoulder, his white hair tickling her sensitive skin. She could hear him breathing deeply.

_Yuki...you've come to save me, haven't you? You want to save me, right?_

He lifted her hands above her head, holding her wrists with only one of his hands.

He finally looked at her. His eyes half-crazy, his grip painful. Yuki winced at the pain.

"I'm sorry, Yuki."

_My decision. I will do what I want, so I can stop myself from getting what I need. It's the only way, Yuki. You'll hate me. But at least you'll survive. I want you to survive. I want you to live._

Zero's free hand played around the buttons of her shirt. Yuki struggled, but his strength was too much for her to fight against. She pleaded him to stop but got no response. He looked at her beautiful breasts, the contrast between the pink of her nipples and the white of her flesh. The scent, the scent has intensified so much... He could not have imagined it would be that strong just because he took of her shirt.

In a state of frenzy he threw her onto the bed, ripped all the clothes she had on, all of his clothes.

_Yuki...Yuki...So white, so cold outside, so red, so warm inside. I want to be where it's warm. I want to be inside. Inside. Yes. I want it. I don't need it. Want it, want it, want..._

He woke up, sated.

_I knew it, I knew it. I made it go away, I'm fine now, and Yuki is...Yuki? I've raped her...What have I done...She's al...Metal...Did her breasts taste like metal?_

Zero turned only to see Yuki's naked body, lifeless. Her breasts, covered in bite marks, her thighs, covered in bite marks, her entire body devoid of blood. Devoured.

_So white, so cold, so dead._

His last laugh echoed through the air, immediately followed by a gunshot.


End file.
